Building Your Energetic Space and Boundaries
As you may be preparing to head off to spend time with friends and family, or, to invite maybe more people than you’re used to into your home, it’s a great time to build your energetic space and boundaries.
What does that mean?
This means being aware of your auric space (the energy field that extends out from your physical body approximately 12-18 inches around your body).
We tend to let a lot of outside noise and energy in here. Shoulds, expectations, desires from others. This happens both consciously and unconsciously.
When we lose certainty and seniority over ourselves we’re much more susceptible to doing this.
Now, this isn’t to say the responsibility we take on isn’t important to sort through. If we build curiosity and take the time to build our awareness about our patterns and triggers, then we heal, grow and give other people a chance to change as well without placing any need on them.
We can love them either way, because now we’re neutral and not in need ourselves.
I’ll offer a small example with someone last week.
I was seeing a friend and I found myself feeling nervous about the time together.
I thought to myself:
“I don’t want this ____ outcome”.
I questioned whether or not we should cancel our time together and reschedule.
Then, I took some time to be with myself, my doubts, fears, uncertainties and noticed where they were coming from.
Next, I thought:
What would have to happen for me to love and value our time together?
It’s ok if this doesn’t happen, but now I’m entering and allowing for a space of possibility. Even better than I could’ve imagined.
Rather than focusing on how I want her to show up (which I did for a bit before taking time.) I switched to what would be a win/win for us both.
I also released responsibility to take on all that she was going through. She never asked me to take it all on or fix it for her, but that was my initial tendency. To get swept up with her energy and to merge.
Now, we never just merge and are a victim to this. This is why a time out with ourselves is so meaningful.
Once I was more present with myself, and had separated energetically from her, I saw her out in front of me across a boundary and I lovingly shared my preference.
This is what I would love and how I see it could serve us both. It’s ok if it’s not what you want. We can reschedule or you can want for more, but I’m not taking responsibility to give that to you.
We don’t actually have to say these things aloud, the intention and connection to it energetically is enough to create a shift when we do it fully.
I also set a boundary (again, energetically) knowing what I would and wouldn’t engage with.
And, now she was clear on what that was and what I could do from my heart and presence.
Now, once this was finished, I saw her whole and complete in her light. This is you feeling good. You can choose to step into your light or not. It always feels better when we do receive our light, and it’s ok not to as well. Total permission, no expectation or need for her to be a certain way. Now, I can be neutral.
And, I allow myself permission and a healing and a choice as well. We both stepped into our light.
A few minutes later, I received a text I’m not feeling well, let’s reschedule. Thanks for being such a great friend.
Perfect. When we’re not on the same page, there’s space for reorganization.
I also have a lot of examples where we’re both in our flow and enjoy our time in such a deeper way because of this energetic exchange.
It’s always worth taking the time with those we interact with to create space and possibility.
I invite you to check in:
How are you feeling about your holiday plans?
Are there any energies that feel uncomfortable for you?
What would have to happen for you to truly enjoy them?
And, separate. Don’t fall into responsibility, or obligation.
You can show up at the same event with the same people and connect to just one reason from your heart why you’re there, which really helps things to move so you’re not feeling like you have to be small or not show up in your full expression.
Here’s a guided meditation and experience for you I decided to pop-off and record while I was in the middle of writing this. It went a bit deeper than I anticipated so I hope you find this helpful for you.
Happy Holidays and I’ll see you soon.