The idea for this post came after receiving over a dozen messages about a specific news article that came out about a public figure. I realize though, the message and possibility for each of us is so much greater than any specific article.
Media is selling sensationalism (and that's ok) but it's also worth remembering. Before we get too caught up and distracted from our own purpose it's helpful to remember some truths.
Often when we hear something negative about a public figure we want to defend our position and make them wrong. Now, I'm not saying whether they're right or wrong. There's usually some of both, and always two sides.
Also, someone truly living their own purpose doesn't share a one-sided, judgement oriented argument because that's never true.
For the purposes of this share and message, I'm saying aside from moral judgement, there's opportunity.
So, lets take getting triggered as an opportunity to remember more about who we really are.
I know there can be charged emotions around a lot of what's happening in our world today. I'm not disregarding the truth of how terrible that feels in our body and how disruptive it can be. Through the filter of just our emotions, it's challenging to see larger perspectives. Through the filter of our spirit, however, it's a lot easier.
That's the intention for this. Some perspectives that have helped me grow.
Just like with anyone in our lives, when we get closer to them we see, there’s times of wonderful gifts and beautiful moments, and there’s times of disappointment and frustration. To expect anything less than that sets us up for failure. (Which I've totally done on many occasions.)
I've come to see, yes, we’re ALL human. Whether it's a pubic figure in the media, celebrity or a stranger on the street.
We all make mistakes.
Realizing this, allowed me to stop beating myself up so much.
This was a Huge gift for me and helped me empower myself instead of looking to someone else for all the answers (which is how my personal development journey began).
The growth for me personally across all areas of my life is that I can take the gifts and learnings, see the challenges and choose which opportunities best support my growth and values moving forward.
Rather than focusing on the media or how someone else is in the wrong, here's a few key truths:
1. We all co-create experiences we need for our growth. Feeling like a victim is just a choice.
Same is true when there's a public article or news story out about someone--this is their process.
2. When someone says something about you you’re embarrassed by, or they feel the need to speak out against you, see what’s true and how you're contributing and growing in this opportunity. This helps our own growth.
There’s threads and blindspots of masks we’re wearing, things we’re hiding or shameful of and sometimes other people enter our lives, (or public posts come out) to assist our growth. Whether we choose to see it as such is again, up to us.
The more we stand in the light while we're being vulnerable with both our present light and dark, the more of an impact we have. The brighter we can shine. And, the less others feel the desire to attack us.
When we're on a pedestal, there will always be people feeling resentful and trying to attack us.
Two truths here. 1. It's an opportunity to own all of ourselves and be open, in that we equal the playing field as humans while sharing a powerful message.
2. We can never control others and where they are. It's much more about them, then it is about you. This is a personal journey for all of us. Sometimes it's clunky and messy, and sometimes we're beautiful and graceful.
Alison Armstrong says, "it's a victory of the human spirit when we can do this."
3. This too shall pass. Whatever may be going on for you right now, just as things are going on for me too, they won’t last forever.
4. If we feel the need to defend something, or a position, there’s still a learning to be integrated.
I love when Lynne Twist says, "the more we fight for a position the more we create opposition."
5. One saying I learned at Tony Robbins, Life Mastery’s health program, is do you want a feather, brick or truck. While this may relate to hearing a signal when we get a cold, feel run down, or when we have an accident, or a diagnosis. We get to choose when we listen. And, when we don't listen or aren't intune and taking the time for ourselves, the messages get louder.
This applies to all areas of our life and I’ve found this concept to be invaluable. If there’s something you’re avoiding, a mask you’re wearing, something you’re not seeing both sides of, you can decide at what scale that starts to impact your life. We all can.
I like to hold the belief that, Everything that happens is to guide us even closer to our highest self.
All opportunities. Some we seize right away, and others take decades.
Remember, it’s ok for us to go through challenges.
And, if you're challenged by something about yourself being out there, a political figure, celebrity or public figure know there's another perspective as well. There are two sides of every story, just as there are for our emotions.
What I find most useful isn't so much seeing the good in people, or expecting perfection, but rather acknowledging the humanity within us all.
If we're triggered, there's something we're not yet owning within ourselves. Staying open, having an awareness of our own patterns, judgement and doubt allows us to open our hearts more to others. It's not just because it's a nice thing to do, the real purpose is that it benefits us and our mission in the world to do this.
This allows us to create even more change without struggling to hold onto a certain position, even when we feel we're right. It's still causes US dis-ease, stress, burnout...this list goes on and on. You may have heard the old Buddha saying, holding onto a hot stone (anger, judgement...) wanting to throw it at someone else, but you're the only one getting burned. There's a better way to create change.
Even with seeing the "good" and "bad". If we internally know we have both why do we keep expecting others or people we look up to to have transcended this human experience.
We're in a very interesting climate right now politically, men, me too, all the meaningful movements to create change so we can grow as a collective are meaningful. And, when we're with the truth rather than a position it becomes easier to see solutions and all be on the same side for a result.
I want to be clear, I'm not saying any behavior is acceptable in any way and there shouldn't be consequences.
Rather than beat yourself or others up, remember, we’re both:
- Self destructive and empowering
- Enlightened and conflicted
- Good and bad
- Wise and foolish
And while only one is usually seen at a time... we’re Always still both.
That’s just how it goes. Then, it's misguided, often for the media not doing their own work, to have an illusion and expect someone to only be "perfect" or else tear them down.
It's natural when we're off course to judge, feel lack, compare ourselves, knock someone else down out of fear and jealousy. I do it too.
And, then I remember what's most important to me. The choice is to choose YOU rather than focusing on other people's business having any meaningful impact on your purpose.
We can each do that part.
As one of my favorite teachers, Dr. John DeMartini says, even with all sides, mistakes, fears and being beautifully imperfect humans, we're still worthy of love.
I invite us all instead of tearing people down or only seeing one side, build the awareness and willingness to see both and stay open to yourself and others through that. You'll feel much more inspired, fulfilled and capable when you do.
Stay focused on what’s most inspiring and creates the most energy for you!
Don’t get distracted or caught up in other people’s journeys other than seeing the mirror of where and how specifically you’re being triggered. This is true for both sides of our experiences. In times of judgement and times where we're defending one-side and only wanting to see the positive.
More love, more truth, more opportunity exists in presence. And, we aren't fully present when we're unconscious to one side.
And, I'm not saying don't act.
What I am saying is, CHOOSE what you want to do about it from a neutral place. If something is inspiring and meaningful to you about a specific change you'd like to see, and it's a part of your purpose, then go for it. We need you!
Then it's worth fighting for. Otherwise, what is worth fighting for always is you. That expands your life and vitality. Pushing uphill to be heard for a position is exhausting and draining. Each of us being our best selves, growing and being more and more open to all people without the judgement is what brings us closer together.
And, if you've found this message helpful...please share it here.
Founder and Principal of New You Development, your go-to resource for getting connected. After over a decade of life coaching, working with thousands of people and 25,000+ hours of studying and teaching with the world’s leading expert’s across every field in personal development, she’s on a mission to help people access and live as their most inspired beings. You can find her coaching with a green juice in hand in Los Angeles or skiing down the slopes of beautiful Aspen, CO. You can email her at email@example.com.